i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sponge bath it is.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
