Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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