We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
