I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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