So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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