Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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