just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
