P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize