it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's the barista slut.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
