Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
