Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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