Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
