I want to walk on stilts...naked
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
