I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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