I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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