I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize