i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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