Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
