Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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