She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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