everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
