Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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