i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
