Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
