I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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