I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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