If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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