I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
