Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
