What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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