quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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