we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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