Pregnant stripper...not hot.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I understand Curling. That high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize