Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
