A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
