We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
