Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
