I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
