mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
