I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Pooping to opera.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize