Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
