I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
