My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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