dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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