Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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