there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
