no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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