There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
