You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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