Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sarcasm needs its own font
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
