Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
