next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
