She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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