I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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