did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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