i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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