I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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