Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
