SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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