Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
