i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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